Just Takin a Minute

I am just pulling another late night until my stomach quits moving back and forth...oh yeah there's a kid in there!

So George Strait is playin on my computer right now thanks to my brother Rustin's awesome play list. (forewarning...this is going to sound stupid) I don't know what it is about George that just makes me sit back and chill and appreciate my little life. The song is called, "I Get Carried Away" which is alot like this post will be but my house is totally quiet, somewhat organized, clean for the most part...except for the cockroach I just squished on my hand...I'm actually hoping it was a spider (how sad is that?), I'm clean, my teeth are brushed and as I sit here I think what I've been blessed with, the husband I have, the sense of security I get knowing the Lord is watching over my every move and knows every desire of my little heart. Sometimes life isn't easy and as much as I'm glad this is Cody's last year in school, I can't describe how much it depresses me that we're on different schedules and never get to really see each other and if we do we are both too exhausted.

This silence also makes me think of what a better person I can be if I would just apply myself. Ever since we moved to Glendale a year ago, I have hated cooking. In Thatcher it was not a problem. Every night we ate at the kitchen table together and cleaned up together but for the past year I've hated it. I blame it on the heat, the pregnancy, anything I can really and its pretty sad because I know that is one of my responsibilities. Maybe its the lack of fast food in Thatcher. It makes me think, if I can't even make dinner for Cody and I, how will I even be motivated to be a good mom who takes her kids to the park and makes sure they eat healthy. My baby isn't even here yet and I'm already doubting myself and totally discouraged about motherhood. Great. Guess I'll just have to kick myself in the rear.

I do know this....having a cockroach problem (thank you dirty neighbors) has kept me motivated to keep my kitchen clean and sealed up! So maybe there will be some sort of motivation to make me a great mom and wife. We shall see.