March 15, 2009

All About Tamra AKA EVERYBODY



First off, my mom has taught me more about how to have a fun life, full of laughter more than anyone else and for that I will always be grateful and continue the sick sense of humor!

One time after church my mom was making mashed potatoes and no not potato pearls...we're much better than that garbage. Our food was ALWAYS the real deal (as you can tell). Well she was mixing away and went to put in the pepper when apparently the lid came off or something. I believe she said, "ah s***" or something along those lines followed with laughter. This isn't the average size pepper shaker we're talking about either, it is the HUGE bottle you use to REFILL the shaker. The fluffy off-white potatoes became a gray color and very, VERY powerful. We all ate them the best we could after drowning them in gravy but I've always been nervous its going to happen again.

I think it was my 3rd year to go to girls camp, my mom was the President and I don't think we ever stopped making fun of each other. I mocked her laugh every time I heard it but really emphasized how loud it is! A few years later, mine is the exact same and Cody tells me I make his ears bleed.

At the same girls camp, the night before we went home we had testimony meeting. It was pretty spiritual and girls you wouldn't expect to say anything did. Well I guess to lighten the mood my mom stood up, paused, then started walking away. Everyone just watched and then she said, "I gotta go to the bathroom." Shifty eyes came from everyone and she said, "Just kidding, I do have a testimony." It was absolutely hilarious. Everyone knows I'm completely accident prone. In fact, my 7th grade year I was nominated "Most likely to get hurt" out of the whole student body. Grand. And true. Everytime I hurt myself my mom would say, "take ibuprofen (she made me do it myself and yes those bottles ARE idiot proof) and we'll go to the doctor when the swelling goes down (meaning a couple of days)." I am now immune to ibuprofen. On a Young Women trip to Flagstaff, I fell ice skating (who thought of letting me on the ice really?), and the other leader totally freaked and asked my mom why she wasn't rushing me to the ER. Good ole Tammy said, "ah she'll be fine. We'll go in a couple days." TOUGH LOVE folks.

I had an ingrown toenail when I was young, and all night it just throbbed and throbbed. She came in the room out of total frustration and told me to quit my crying and go to sleep. To be honest, I don't remember even crying at all. She then did a quick fix to my toe by digging out the toe nail from the side and shoving a cotton ball underneath it to "relieve" the pain. I think thats when I started crying. (To be honest, I really think she imagined me crying because sometimes I think I hear things too but I really don't.)

When we went to New York, she forgot all of her makeup. Well Hell. Somehow it was SOMEBODY else's fault.

When Cody and I went swimming at The Buttes in Tempe with her and I got pegged in the face with a volleyball. I really don't ever remember her laughing THAT loud for THAT long but she did. To the point where she nearly threw up. I wish we could've caught that on camera.

I was helping her clean the kitchen one night and I told her to throw me a dish rag to wipe the counter. I had my arms extended. She threw it (chucked not lobbed). It pegged me in the face and then I clapped my hands together. My reflexes suck. I blame the ibuprofen.

We always get in boxing matches and like my dad says, "better knock it off you two before someone gets hurt." I usually let her hurt me so she still feels young.

She can whip a towel like nobody's business.

She loves her "Itsy Bitsy Mitzy" who I recently renamed as "Itchy Bi***y Mitchy". That poor dog. Seriously the most fitting name ever tho.

She had my whole wedding planned before I could even come to Show Low to help. As soon as I told her the colors I might possibly like, the invitations were made and sent, decorations reserved and a decorating team recruited. I think I helped with one thing and that was, I showed up.

She told me I was nuts as soon as I told her I was going to marry Cody (a week after I met him) and now I can't help but agree with her! :D She has been the best at making sure we are always making it.

Through many hard trials in my life, I would come home either from HS or College and find notes on my bed telling me how much she loved me and knew I'd make it. She never gave up on me. I used to tell her, "I love you" before going to bed and she'd say, "Ok." I would just stand there and she'd ask, "What?" I'd tell her, "You're supposed to say it back." And then she would. One Sunday, Sunday school had there lesson on the stage and I was walking by and I heard her tell the class that story. I thought I was so cool because she was telling other adults about my sweet side, which was awesome because a lot of people saw me as a clown.

Speaking of clown, my mom bought me some cute blue plaid shoes and when I put them on I had blue plaid pajama pants on. I looked like a total dork!

While driving, she managed to roll her right hand up in the window while throwing out the bottom of an ice cream cone. She went to the store early one morning for milk. Her dress didn't have as much give as she thought and went to step from one curb to the next. Her dress tightened around her shins and she went rolling across the parking lot! Of course she laughed so hard at herself and when she took her dress to the dry cleaner, she told them it was dirt on her dress. They asked what kind and she explained and the lady wrote "Street dirt". Totally hilarious.

If she eats too much salt it basically makes her deaf. We know when she's been eating potatoe chips because we basically have to scream at her to get her attention.

When we first moved to Show Low (I was in 4th grade), she took me along to run errands. She dropped me off at Safeway to start the grocery shopping but gave me the credit card just in case. Well I finished the shopping, paid for the groceries and went outside to look for her car but it was no where to be found! She forgot me! I sat on the bench until she remembered like a poor homeless kid. I think I sat there for about 30 minutes before she came. Later on, she did the same thing to Rustin.

I ate a bullet popsicle the other day at work and was texting my mom while she was home sick. I told her what I was eating. Later that night she told my dad she wanted a bullet and he said he had one in the closet. I love that they call each other "evil" in moments like this.
One thing that drove me crazy as a teen was say I was in the car riding along with her. She would ask how my day was. As a teen I had one word answers alot. I would say good and she'd say so it was good huh? Hello! I just answered that question. I remember telling Colbi that she did that all the time and one time Colbi caught her too and just laughed! Oh it drove me nuts but now I do it to Cody.

HOW I'M JUST LIKE MY MOM:
My marriage and her marriage are so identical its crazy. When Cody and I and her and my dad are together, Cody and dad lose complete patience.

Our laugh and weird sense of humor.

My tender side. If she cries, I cry.

We're both very clean and organized but I've gradually become a little OCD

Quick come backs.

Same body shape. We suffer from the disease, Noassatall.

We slam cupboards when we're mad, or doors, or drawers or or or

I love my mom so much and am so thankful for how she chose to raise me and my siblings! I had an awesome childhood and loved all the little quirks of a Texan mom!

7 comments:

Tamra and Jim said...

Oh, Danica, you make me laugh!!!! So funny. Rustin keeps asking what I am laughing at. He'll read it later but I'm sure he just won't get it like you and I do. hahaha love you tons!!! MOM

Cody and Danica said...

that drives me absolutely crazy when someone in the same room is laughing and so you ask them what and they are laughing at and they say "nothing!" I say it to people all of the time tho!

Liz said...

How cuteI really enjoyed the post! Thanks for the laughter. Your mom is awesome...someone others aspire too. I'm glad you realize just how blessed you were to have such good parents. RaLee does the same thing to me, quick little one word answers! But when she wants to talk she demands total attention and you better be listening.

Ryan and Shannon Rapier said...

Fantastic post! Her pepper mashed potatoes reminded me of several great cooking stories with Shannon, some mine and some hers. I see a similar tough love attitude from you that you describe here. I can't wait for the next one. Who's next, who's next?
Ryan

Colbi and Jeff said...

Haha ya I agree do Ryan next! Oh man that was funny. Brought back some memories. Although, I feel potato pearls are AWESOME and not garbage. I eat them dry. Anyways, yes your mom always repeated whatever we said. And we would just die laughing trying to catch her doing it.

Taralee said...

I laughed out loud at almost every single one of those. Seriously- so funny. I love the one when you got slammed in the face with the volleyball. I wasn't there but I can picture it oh so well. ha ha ha.
You are right- mom is an amazing lady. Thanks for the post.
Ps. I'm SOOOOOOoooooo so nervous when it is going to be my turn. (be gentle!)

Eldredge Family said...

I rad this while Spencer was driving 90 on a California Freeway! I was laughing so hard I hard tears rolling down my cheeks! I about nearly needed to go to the ER over the MAKEUP BAG! Well HELL! Thanks for such a funny POst! I had to read it a couple of times to soak it all in! I really can't wait to hear all about RYAN!!