I've had a couple realizations these past couple days. Some good. Some sad. Like for instance, I am a mother. For forever. That will never change. This little boy depends completely on Cody and I for everything. My job isn't a "ok boss I've worked 40 hours. Where's my paycheck? I'm going to enjoy the weekend." Its around the clock job that I love but is definitely challenging. A sad thing I realized was I can no longer buy junior clothing. Which stinks because it is so much cheaper. I went clothes shopping this weekend with my mom and just started crying. I never realized how much a body changes after having a baby. Oh well.
My heart has been aching lately for my cousin Crystal. She lost her baby boy in March. I was 2 months pregnant at the funeral and I thought I knew how she might possibly feel but once Cole was born my life changed and I can never imagine my life without him. I can't imagine how tough losing a child would be and I am so sorry for her aches. What an awful thing to experience and I want her to know she is in my prayers. She is an amazing mother and person. She is a huge example to me about just loving every minute of being a mother even when it gets tough. Thank you Crystal.
I couldn't have asked for a better baby. He is so patient with me and smiles whenever I talk to him or enter the room. Tonight I asked Cody, "do you think he loves me?" Cody said, "there is no doubt in my mind. You and him have the most special bond."
I hope one day my hormones go back to normal so I can go through a day without crying but even through the tears I love Cole. I'm usually crying because I love him so much and its the only way I know how to express it.